This material was so kindly provided by Perro Loco. 

ACT I

Pomponio wrote:

Consider this purely an intellectual exercise (yeah, right!)...suppose that a slave is to be snuffed via impalement (you mean like in those Dolcett pic?)...yeah like in the Dolcett pics...what would be the best approach...a sharp violent thrust or a slow continuous penetration? should the victim be drugged in some manner (drooling: why?)...? how about the shaft to use? bamboo poles? PVC pipe? hardwood? what would be best...anal or vaginal rupture? how thick a shaft? should it be constant girth or widening? if you wanted to achieve skewering...I assume you have to miss the heart...how can one do that? is it just takes lots of practice? is there a book on how to do it? is skewering even possible? how long can the victim survive skewered? like, how much of a mess would it be, you know, the rug...? etc. etc. that's it...I have taken too much caffeine...from now on I promise I will take my prozac) thanks...post your flames/responses...the above address is bogus.

Dear Pomponio, Actually someone ought to respond to your question... after all, you never know when you might find a willing playmate.

First off: Choosing the right instrument for impalement. We have found that the best spits are made from iron (not steel) pipe about 1 1/2" to 1 3/4" diameter. Iron conducts heat slightly slower, which is important if you're going to barbecue, which I assume is a possibility... otherwise, why impale your playmate. The spit should be about 2 feet longer than the "impalee" and have an interchangeable point, which can be withdrawn through the hollow shaft and replaced with a blunt, rounded tip... this will prevent most damage to any delicate internal organs by gliding around, rather than through, them. The spit should also be well lubricated over it's entire length, excepting the last eighteen inches or so of the butt end before you begin... may seem strange but Crisco (the thick, white stuff - not the oil) works very well.

The whole trick to impaling a woman and keeping her alive during and after the fact is... it has got to be consensual! You mentioned, and it's true, that the impaling spit must miss the heart or all the fun is over. This requires some manipulation on the part of the "impalee" as the spit is too rigid to be able to guide very well. Your playmate should be able to feel the internal location of the spit and maneuver a bit to guide it through her body.

Depending on your playmate's pain tolerance a bit of "anesthesia" may come in handy... surprisingly, having the "impalee" smoke a few joints before you start works well. If you have access to morphine or mephedrine (Demerol) you might consider about 75 - 100mg IM Demerol or 5 - 8mg IM Morphine. Do not attempt any form of nerve block or spinal anesthesia unless you have real expertise in this area or your playmate will expire prematurely!

The best method is to have her slowly force the point up through her vagina until it meets some resistance at the cervical os, then she will be able to gently slide onto the point, forcing open the cervix until, again, resistance is felt at the posterior cervical wall. After piercing the posterior cervical wall the point of the spit should be withdrawn, leaving the shaft just inside the abdominal cavity. Replace the sharp, piercing point with the blunt, rounded tip. The "impalee" should be able to tell you the internal location of the blunt tip. Simply guide the spit up through the abdominal cavity to a location just below her stomach. As the tip is rounded and not sharp, there should be no danger of perforating the bladder, bowel, kidneys or other organs. (Which can be pretty messy)

At this point, have the "impalee" assume a side laying position keeping her legs spread as much as possible. If, for some reason, your playmate can't identify the location of the tip of the spit at any given time... simply have her lean backward while the external portion of the spit is held firmly. You'll see the spit bulge out her belly and you'll know the exact location of the tip.

One of the most difficult parts of impaling is accurately judging when you have reached the inferior (bottom-most) part of the outside of the stomach... which must be entered in order to guide the spit up through the esophagus and out through your playmate's mouth.

We've found it helpful to have our "special girls" drink fairly large quantities of liquids, usually about 2 liters, immediately before impalement. Water is OK but a decent, inexpensive Chardonnay adds flavor as it leaks from the stomach during roasting. When the tip of the blunt spit "hits" the fluid filled stomach it will feel like you've bumped into a large water balloon, and it will usually make a "squishy" noise. Now is the time to change points again. Leaving the shaft of the spit in place, withdraw the blunt tip and replace, for the final piercing, with the sharp point and pierce the stomach.

You'll know you're in the right place as some Chardonnay should leak out through the hollow shaft of the spit. There shouldn't be too much blood as overall you've only actually caused 2 wounds, the first in the posterior cervical wall and the second in the bottom of the stomach. Neither of these should bleed excessively as the shaft of the spit has a tendency to tamponade or self seal these wounds.

Now after piercing the stomach, the head of the shaft is in the interior of your playmate's stomach. Change back to the blunt tip. Simply "feel" your way to the top of her stomach where you'll find the lower entrance to her esophagus. You must gently guide the spit into the esophagus... it's important to know that the tip of the spit is now just below your "impalee's" heart and any mistake here will have serious consequences!

One thing that's messy but occasionally helpful is to induce vomiting and have the spit "follow" any regurgitate up into the esophagus. After that, just slide the spit up her throat (actually you're still in the esophagus but I'm really getting tired of that word) and out through her mouth. She should still be able to breathe as the spit shouldn't cause any significant airway obstruction.

Well, there you have it. Your playmate all spitted, still alive, if not exactly "kicking", certainly not screaming, with minimal blood loss, and ready for whatever you two have planned. Hopefully that's answered a few of your questions and will be of some help to you and others who may be interested.

Please write if you have further question. The address is real. Any women who are interested in becoming one of our "special girls" are particularly encouraged to drop us a line.

Perro Loco and Spike

The One, True Prophet of the Church of Dolcett & His Chief Minion


ACT II

On: 15 Jan 1996 00:34:24 GMT, In ASB, Perro Loco responded to Pomponio regarding his questions about Female Impalement.
--------------------

His response was a mastery of the craft!! Taking the mere act of skewering to the fine art of impalement must be recognized. Such subtle nuances and attention to detail warms one's heart (among other places)!

Building on this ....... I want to make some comments ..... not in the sense of "improvements" but merely small adjustments to suit personal tastes.

.... someone ought to respond to your question... after all, you never know when you might find a willing playmate.

This is so true. So rare is the ultimate submission enjoyed that the moment must be savored!!

Choosing the right instrument for impalement. We have found that the best spits are made from iron (not steel) pipe about 1 1/2" to 1 3/4" diameter. Iron conducts heat slightly slower, which is important if you're going to barbecue

This is true. However, the heat-treatment of iron vs. steel must be noted. If using iron rather than steel the Lass must be of comely shape and light weight ..... otherwise the heft of the gal might bend the spit ..... thus causing insertion problems on subsequent events. When in doubt, go with a well tempered steel ....... you may lose some conductivity but will avoid testy re-alignment of the shaft in preparation for the next show.

The spit should be about 2 feet longer than the "impalee"

Another way to avoid bending the spit is to have one that is just 2 feet longer than the fems length from her tailbone to the top of her head. Insertion of rod from the endpoints of larger diameter pipe on the rotisserie, into the end of the spit will be effective. Attachment of her legs to this larger diameter pipe is a minor issue ( I assume you are binding the arms to her side).

Have an interchangeable point, which can be withdrawn through the hollow shaft and replaced with a blunt, rounded tip...

This is sheer genius. We've been looking for a method of cutting down on the premature expirations!! We thought about engineering a blunt tip with a slot in it to accommodate an arrow that could be withdrawn via a cable and spring but this is much simpler (and less expensive!) than our complex arrangement.

The whole trick to impaling a woman and keeping her alive during and after the fact is... it has got to be consensual!

How right you are. The non-consensual fem is so unruly that invariably her antics completely destroys the ambiance of the party!! Not to mention the high percentage of premature expirations!

... surprisingly, having the "impalee" smoke a few joints before you start works well.

As well as the pot, we find that two or three glasses of an adequate Cab Sav or Chardonnay (depending on the lady's tastes) makes a nice addition.

The best method is ... slowly force the point up through her vagina until it meets some resistance at the cervical os, ..... gently slide onto the point, forcing open the cervix until, again, resistance is felt at the posterior cervical wall. After piercing the posterior cervical wall the point of the spit should be withdrawn, leaving the shaft just inside the abdominal cavity.

The included angle on the sharpened tip is important!! If the included angle is too narrow ....... the sharpened portion of the rod will be too long (maybe even 4 to 6 inches) and thus, when you penetrate the abdominal cavity, internal organs may be pierced. If the included angle is too wide .... the rod may be too blunt to stretch the cervix and penetrate the posterior cervical wall!! Different points can be experimented with over time. A tip resembling a pencil point may be a nice compromise between narrow and wide included angle. One might even bevel the tip, hypodermic style, to create a very sharp point for ease of penetration. Tapering the end of the spit can help as well ...... though you don't want to take off so much material that the wall of the pipe is too thin on the end. I should think that removing half the wall thickness would be adequate. Whether using the sharp or blunt end, this will ensure a smooth transition zone between the tip and the spit when impaling the Lass. It might also be a good idea to round off any sharp edges on the end of the tube ...... don't want the end of the spit to unnecessarily cut any internal organs!!

We've found it helpful to have our "special girls" drink fairly large quantaties of liquids, usually about 2 liters, immediately before impalement. Water is OK but a decent, inexpensive Chardonnay adds flavor as it leaks from the stomach during roasting. You'll know you're in the right place as some Chardonnay should leak out through the hollow shaft of the spit.

What a wonderful addition!!

There shouldn't be too much blood as overall you've only actually caused 2 wounds, .......

This will simplify clean-up tremendously!! In the simplest of changes comes the most benefit!!

She should still be able to breathe as the spit shouldn't cause any significant airway obstruction.

Hhhmmmmm ....! I wonder. Inch and a half to inch and three quarter pipe is pretty large. Might we drill a few 1/4 inch holes in the upper two feet of the spit to facilitate breathing ..... so that an airway is open through the hollow of the pipe to the lungs?

Well, there you have it. Your playmate all spitted, still alive, if not exactly "kicking",

With this more "humane" method of skewering your sub ...... how much trauma would occur and how much consciousness could we expect?

certainly not screaming, with minimal blood loss,

The minimal blood loss I have no doubt. ...... but what of the nature of nerve endings on internal organs? I understand they are not as sensitive as nerve endings on the outside of our body? This would facilitate the whole process a great deal if our playmate felt only pressure rather than pain during the insertion process. Although occasional screaming might add variety to the deliberations!! Don't you think?

What about removal of appropriate organs prior to roasting? How might that be facilitated? Especially with the spit in place!!

... will be of some help to you and others who may be interested. Please write if you have further question.

That's mighty kind of you Mister Loco. Perhaps a dialog between us exotic practitioners can be created on ASB or through email?

Thanks from the bottom of our hearts!!

Zak and the boys.
"The West's Best Barbecue"
E-mail: IBA6UALDV8@AOL.COM

Dear Zak & Compadres,

Hola mi amigos... 'n other broken border Spanish stuff as that. I read your comments most carefully and am grateful for the complements as well as some of the suggestions.

You mention using stainless steel or tempered steel for the spit and keeping it short... well, the reason I prefer iron is that while it is fairly ductile... which makes it easier to cut and shape, it has superior thermal "cuntduction"!!! Whenever one roasts a woman special care should be exerted to ensure that her more "delicate parts" both internal and external remain tender and juicy! There's no better way to absolutely spoil a perfectly wonderful roast than by overcooking the vagina and uterus...

As for the next use... hell, don't you guys think that any woman/girl who's willing to let you roast her ALIVE is worth the trouble of providing her with her "very own" spit!

As for finding the right kind of pipe and rod to make interchangeable points. I live in a petroleum producing area of California and find that oilfield pipe and cut down pump rod works great. It's also really cheap! And, check it out... its iron, not steel. (causes fewer sparks if shale or flint blow up through an oil well casing while working the well head)

As for the spit bending while the "impalee" is roasting. You mention that she should be of "comely shape and light weight." Why would you even bother to roast a girl who was otherwise?

As example, I'm currently in contact with a young woman... girl really, who is negotiating for placement on my menu rotation, probably sometime in early June. She's about 5' 7", maybe 135# live weight, firm but medium sized breasts and really cute! My preferences run toward cute and innocent as opposed to beautiful. Can't deal with the vanity, I suppose.

Anyway... given that this girl has lovely proportions, long legs etc. Her weight of 135# isn't going to pretzel a 7 1/2 foot long, 1 3/4" iron pipe... no way. But I do like the idea of using a shorter spit, perhaps equal to her body length and attaching it afterwards to larger diameter pipes designed for that purpose. Way cool! Going to try it next time...

As for point shape... and here I've got to assume the sharp or piercing point... The angle (included angle?... you guys must be engineers) really isn't that important. I'm fond of a hand finished, rounded taper but... the very tip (tenth of an inch or so) must be needle sharp! This is what does the piercing. A ragged point can cause unwanted tearing and laceration. The tip should literally glide through a girl's flesh, like a surgeon's scalpel... not rip through!

The vaginal opening to the uterus or cervical os isn't a small as most would think. However the normal post-pubscent female will have a small mucus "plug" which normally occludes the cervical entrance... provides a natural barrier to internal infections. Well, a sharp piece of iron will poke through a little bit of mucus a lot easier than, say your finger through a booger in your nose! Anyway... once the tip of the spit is started up the cervix, even a small distance... it stretches to easily accommodate the shaft of the spit. After all... babies come out of this opening!

As far as pain... you're right about the nerves of the internal organs, in general... but have you ever had a really bad case of food poisoning or stomach flu or gastroenteritis? Bad, crampy pain!!! Muy malo delor, mucho calambres!!! No nessicita malestar... es mucho delor de estomago!

However... Demerol or Morphine works really well. IM injection is sufficient. Up to 75 mg Demerol or 10mg Morphine. Pot and ethanol is mostly useful for dulling the girl's natural anxieties just before impalement! Of course you want her to drink that 2 liters of wine before spitting anyway... if for no other reason than that of improved flavor!

Assuming that you've been careful up to this point there isn't any reason that your playmate should feel much pain at all... as you mentioned, more of a pressure sensation and a feeling of "fullness!"

The really delicate part of the impalement process is getting the spit safely through the abdominal cavity to a location just below that stomach. A well greased shaft will slide around, rather than through the numerous loops of intestine and other internal organs, including as mentioned in the initial FAQ... the renal arteries and descending abdominal aorta!

Once in the stomach... well your real work is essentially done. Finding the entrance to the lower esophagus is actually easier to do than to describe.

Addressing any possible respiratory difficulties your playmate may have. She really shouldn't have any problems. The posterior oropharynx is fairly roomy and there's a lot of free airway in the nasophargeal area as well. Any potential problem would be at the tracheal/epiglottic junction. The shaft may sufficiently compress the larynx or trachea to partially obstruct the "impalee's" airway, making breathing difficult. During swallowing the epiglottis normally occludes the trachea, preventing aspiration.

If your playmate has any difficulty breathing after the spit is passed beyond the epiglottis, the spit should be withdrawn 2 or 3 inches and a half- inch i.d. flexible plastic tube should be inserted orally to a level just inside the trachea. Ideally a 7mm - 8mm cuffed endotracheal tube could be used. The the spit may then be advanced as desired!

A flexible airway or cuffed endotracheal may be attached to a source of low flow 40% oxygen it will certainly provide the "impalee" with enough oxygen to meet all of her needs for the foreseeable future!

The idea of 1/4" holes drilled into the body of the hollow shaft of the spit, while initially seeming to have some merit is not the panacea it would, at first, seem. The interior of the shaft will, because it has entered your girl's wine filled stomach, be at least partially fluid filled. There will also be a fair amount of blood and perhaps other bodily secretions in the shaft. Malo!

The other problem is heat... assuming that you're not going to roast the girl's head... spoils the hair and ruins an otherwise fine "trophy" mount! Superheated air will circulate from the "vaginal" portion of the spit to the "oral" end.

Perhaps the best method is a combination of the two techniques. Placing an airway or cuffed endotracheal tube through a relatively large predrilled hole in the appropriate portion of the shaft! This airway could then be connected to a source of cool, pure or 40% oxygen. Of course, your "impalee" will be unable to scream or make much sound at all, as the airway will interfere with the operation of her vocal cords, which lay just inside the tracheal opening.

BTW, cuffed endotracheal tubes are normally placed with the help of a stiff, soft plastic coated aluminum guide wire or stylet. The stylet helps guide the tip of the tube to the appropriate location. This could be accomplished through the hollow shaft of the spit easily enough.

If hearing her scream and otherwise make a lot of whimpering noises is important to you... I don't think I can help you out much. She's either going to be able to breathe or she's going to be able to scream... but not for very long!

Well, I think I've covered most of the concerns you have enumerated. Hopefully my comments will assist you during any future culinary efforts and casual barbecues!

Again, please feel free to contact me at any time should you have further questions or require any assistance at your next festivity! Or , for that matter... just to chat about mutual interests.

Any young women or girls who might be interested in pursuing these activities are particularly encouraged to write. Especially women or girls potentially interested in becoming one of our "special girls!" Perro Loco & Spike
The One, True Prophet of the Church of Dolcett
and
His Chief Minion


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